Arrrrrrrrr!!!! There be smooth sailing in these waters!

September 19th came and went with many United States citizens missing out on the greatest "new" national holiday. Shiver me Timbers. I'll run ya through with me blade. The answer be four. Aye Aye Captain! Batten down the hatches. He's got the scurvy. Walk the plank! Aye matey. Mermaid off the port bow! National Talk Like a Pirate Day enables such phrases to be used frequently for 24 hours of delight. Use them to draw attention from co-workers and friends alike. Initially they may shun you. But once they understand the importance of this national holiday, they'll join in the fun and be making such request as, "Give me Your Booty!" or yell out a good "AAARRR!" So when 2008 calendars start to appear, remember to mark your calendar with a skull and cross bones, gleefully anticipating next year's conversation raiding frenzy.

Where Were You?

So, on this day everyone I talked with at work had to share where they were and what they were doing on September 11, 2001. Some give more details than others. Others try to "one-up" the other workers' stories. I feel like I am in the middle of a Farside comic. Gathered together with other forest critters, we're discussing where each of us were when Bambi's mother died. I was sleeping when it happened. Being a freshman in college that's what I did.

Academic Pursuit

I was asked recently if I was ready for my university education to resume. I replied in the affirmative. In that moment I realized that I was not prepared for my courses. I have no supplies, books, or a new bag to place them in. Also, I am not looking forward to standing in line to purchase books at the bookstore. Which reminds me of our adventure at K-Mart and Albertson's. We probably would have headed over to Sam Waldon's Store of Savings, but I would rather eat chalk. This particular Saturday every freshmen and their parents flock to Wally World to stock up for the semester. Contemplating the recent patience of The Better Half, we chose the alternative. As a result, we are up to Father Times hair line in cereal. There were sales for 10 boxen for $10 and 6 boxen for $10. We indulged in both and are enjoying the plethora of Post's and General Mills' goodness. Have you ever heard of Box Top pirating? Apparently it is legal. You can spot the pirating parents chillin' by the displays at the front of the grocery store. They usually have sharp objects, all respectable pirates do. Once they spot a cereal grocer with one box or ten, they swoop in, demand Box Tops and slice them off, quickly retreating to their previous positions to poise themselves for their next conquest.

Wendy's Blunder

Today I took the boys out for lunch. To decide between Arby's and Wendy's, Cave had a "best two out of three" Japanese rock-paper-scissors (Jonkenpo) competition. The later of the two won. So, Wendy's it was. Upon seeing the menu, I had to sigh with sadness at the reminder that the $0.99 menu had all but disappeared. A year or so ago their prices rose to $1.19. Now they've crept to $1.29 for most of the "Value Menu" burgers and sandwiches. Anyway, we all ordered and received our JBC's. Then upon seeing the size I paused. The JBC had shrunk to the size of a dinner roll. Not only do they raise their prices they shrink my food. Doesn't the corporate have enough money? Couldn't they use that extra 20-30 cents to keep the JBC at its original appetite satisfying size? I appeal to reason. I propose that we solicit Chuck Norris to Round-House kick the Corporate geniuses who made the shrinking decision in the face at 1/6th strength to render them paralyzed instead of dead (A.K.A.: Chuck Norris disease). Can I get a second on the motion?

Homer's House of Pain

I opened my school email account on Saturday to find a very surprising and welcomed email from THE Ohio State University School of Dentistry Admissions Director. I know, it's a mouth full. They invited me to an interview. Yes, I still have a chance at being a dentist and carrying the family legacy to its fourth generation. My initial reaction was disbelief and then excitement. I felt like a ten year old who had just walked into the living room on Christmas morning to see the long awaited Huffy ten speed leaning on its chrome kick stand. I called family to let them know. When The Better Half called her mother, she flipped out and started hunting for apartments. I think she drove the three hours to Columbus that night to check out a few of her hopefuls. Just yesterday during a drive with my brother and his wife, we were thinking about different names for a store or shop or practice to open. The top two were Louisifer's, (purposely done in a bright red Neon sign) and Homer's House of Pain. Then again pain is a buzz word. Maybe we should alter the name a bit: Homer's House of Pressure.

The Club

Recently, The Better Half began an analysis of everyone she's known since kindergarten to invite them to be her friend on facebook. I come home often to find her eyes glued to the screen, hoping she has made another friend's top friends list. Encourgaed by her recent interest in keeping in contact with friends via online posting/blogging, I have finally decided that it was time for me to stop thinking it was stupid to have a blog and create one. So, here it is. I find that I know nothing about it. I feel like a freshmen in college who has not quite figured out how to register for classes or even knows that I have been assigned an advisor to aid my academic journey. I know that upon similar discoveries with my blog I will feel inexperienced and naive. But I do feel some accomplishment for making the step and joining the vast millions who belong to the online bloggers club.